Good Woman
by BluesideRemy
Summary: “I can’t do this,” she whispered to her reflection. It silently reminded her that she had to. (Chapter 2 is up)
1. Default Chapter

**Obi/OC implied (really implied). Ixais, or Asis for short, is forced to leave the Jedi order when Palpatine threatens to expose her relationship with Obi-Wan (I hope to create some kind of backstory for this soon, so that it will make more sense. Asis isn't human, but her species is almost identical...it's in my head, just not on the computer yet). This is the first fic that I've posted, so be gentle please. Bold printSong lyrics. Italicsflashbacks.**

**the song is "good woman" by Cat Power **

**I want to be a good woman, and I want for you to be a good man. **

She stared at herself in the mirror, unfamiliar with the image. The foreign garment clung to her body in a way that her tunics never had, and the silky, almost water-like material made her feel naked. The absence of weight at her hip was maddening, knowing that a lightsaber would never rest there again. And the delicate headband she wore, a sign of royalty crafted from the lightest metal, bowed her head in its unbearable weight. A tear rolled solemnly down her cheek and splashed unceremoniously upon her pale blue gown.

"I can't do this," she whispered to her reflection. It silently reminded her that she had to.

**And this is why I will be leaving, and this is why I can't see you no more. **

_His voice was cutting, and full of malice. And yet, that's what she had expected from the Sith lord, so it was a wonder that it had rendered her paralyzed. Or maybe it was what he was telling her; that she would either leave the Order, and thus Obi-Wan or he would expose their secret and destroy both of their lives. She didn't want to do this, because the Jedi had become so much more than her teachers and friends; they were her family. And Obi-Wan was her heart. But she could never let Palpatine hurt him. She had to leave._

**I will miss your heart so tender, and I will love this love forever. **

Taking a shaky breath, she turned to collect her bag. It was a meager little thing, made of worn leather and bearing only a few belongings. And as she reached for it on the bed, her small hand wandered to the smooth, crisp sheets. Skating her fingertips over the starch cotton, memories of warm, summer nights filled her mind. Nights when Obi-Wan would sneak into her room to stretch his strong body along hers, and cradle her gently. Limbs intertwined and fingers laced, her head would rest comfortably in the crook of his neck and they slept soundly in each other's embrace. Her heart ached at the knowledge that those nights were over, and not to happen again. She had to do the right thing, and let him go.

**I don't want to be a bad woman, and I can't stand to see you be a bad man. **

_"Leave, Princess," Palpatine spoke in a deceiving tone; he almost sounded as though he cared. "You have a family to return to should you be expelled from the Jedi Order…but where would your dear Obi-Wan go? Not with you, surely," he growled, acknowledging that he was hitting on a sensitive subject. "I doubt your kin would take well to their only heir bringing home a human as her mate," Palpatine sneered, pleased with the apparent pain in the Elfling's face. _

**I will miss your heart so tender, and I will love this love forever. **

She clutched her bag in one hand, the lightsaber in the other, as she walked through the quiet halls of the Temple. She was headed to the main corridor, where the Council and other Masters had gathered around a large conference table, the civil war of the Yuriko system being the present topic.

**And this is why I am leaving. **

_"I need to speak with you, Master," her tone was more desperate than she had meant for it to be, but she should have known that she wouldn't be able to hide her pain. Mace Windu smiled at the sight of his old apprentice, but the corners of his mouth swiftly fell. The anxiety and pain she felt emanated off of her and hit him hard. _

_"Of course, Ixais," Mace spoke soothingly, guiding her slowly into a meditation room. He sensed that he needed to calm his ailing student, as the Force crackled around her with uncontrolled emotions. And so when she asked, "how long," he knew that denial would only upset her more. Sighing, he answered, "Since the beginning," and pretended not to see the torment flash across her normally pleasant features. "I had hoped one of you would end it before it grew serious, but at the same time I didn't want to tell either of you to stop," he said quietly. Noting the defeat written on her face, he added, "I just couldn't bring myself to tell the Padawan I thought of as a daughter not to fall in love with the boy that she was destined to love... and who loved her back to no end." At this the woman broke into tears, and fell to the cold floor. Crouching down next to her, Mace allowed a strong hand to rest lightly on her crumpled shoulders. "I only wish that you two had not been bound to fall in love. And now, what is it that you wished to tell me, Asis?"_

_"I'm going home."_

**And this is why I can't see you no more. **

Many wary eyes had already stared strangely upon their fellow Jedi, who now wore a dress instead of a tunic and leggings as she descended the grand staircase to the main corridor. Some had even called out her name in question, unsure of what she was about to do. And yet as she approached the table, where every Jedi Master sat deep in conversation, only one had the courage to speak.

"Leaving us, you are?" Master Yoda's voice croaked gently, his head tilted slightly to the side in question. His eyes sparkled with unspoken knowledge, and yet they held an honest question to Asis. She held his gaze for a long as she could, before turning to face Mace, who shook his head in denial.

"Please don't do this, Asis," he pleaded. Out of the corner of his vision, he saw Obi-Wan come forth. Disbelief plagued the man's face as he stared unashamedly at his secret lover. Refusing to look at Obi-Wan, Asis held out her lightsaber.

"I can never th-thank you enough. You've-you have taught me so many things, and I will never forget them," her voice wavered as tears burned her cornflower blue eyes. Casting her eyes downwards, she continued, "But I'm afraid that the time has come for me to l-leave." She shoved her hand forward, urging Mace Windu to take her lightsaber, as though it was the only thing left that tied her to the Jedi. Sadly, he reached out and grasped the cool metal hilt. He too felt the stinging of tears as he heard her whisper, "take care of each other," before she walked out.

**And this is why I am lying when I say that I don't love you no more.**

And as she disappeared, Obi-Wan swore that he heard her voice in his head, asking for forgiveness and whispering, "I love you."

**reviews welcome...**


	2. Promise

**Yay, new chapter! I want to apologize for the wait...I've just been bogged down in school. But more importantly, to the reviewers: You guys are awesome! Your reviews were so sweet and encouraging, which was just what I needed. And so I give you, chapter 2!**

**Song: "Exit Music (for a film)" by Radiohead **

**Wake from your sleep, the drying of tears**

He wasn't sure what to think. She had left the Jedi. She had left him. She was gone and never to return. How was it that this had come to pass and he had never seen it coming? Staring out at the cityscape of Coruscant, he scoured his mind for a time when he should have foreseen this. And yet all he could think of was their last encounter.

**Today we escape…we escape**

_All of the younglings and most of the Jedi Masters were asleep as Ixais walked slowly into the Temple. Sleep was heavy on her eyes as walking became involuntary and the only thing that the young Knight could focus on was reaching her bed. Stumbling through the main corridor, she managed to reach the lift that would take her to the floor where the sleeping quarters were, only to find him waiting inside. Gently tugging her next to him, he allowed the weight of her body to rest against his as he knew that her mobility would soon be completely compromised. A smile tugged gently at his mouth as her head went to rest instinctively on his shoulder, a content sigh escaping her lips as her eyes fluttered shut. _

_The chuckle that rumbled low in his throat wasn't loud enough to wake the now sleeping Asis. Not even the jerk of the lift coming to a stop could stir the young woman, who had to be held up lest she crumple to the floor. So as he scooped her up into his arms, Obi-Wan cradled her body against his and carried her slowly to her room, where he was careful to place her gently on her bed. The only sign of life she gave was her rhythmic breathing and the humming sound she made as Obi-Wan kissed her forehead, whispering "I love you" against her warm skin. _

**Pack and get dressed, before your father hears us**

And then, out of nowhere, it had happened; she was walking down those steps, her robes gone and replaced by a gown that he would have given the world to see on her…in any other situation. That tatty old bag was faithfully at her side as she spoke words that seemed a foreign tongue to Obi-Wan. She was thanking the Jedi for their lessons, as though she wasn't a Jedi herself. She was apologizing for having to go, for having to leave them all behind. It seemed a dream to him, but as he saw her hand her lightsaber over to Master Windu, Obi-Wan understood that this couldn't be a dream; dreams never hurt this bad.

**Before all hell…breaks loose. Breathe...keep breathing**

"_Stay, you must, Obi-Wan," Yoda's voice croaked, as the still young Jedi Master watched Asis walk away. Obi-Wan had made a motion to follow her, to stop her and bring her back to the Jedi, where she belonged, but the dry voice of the ancient Jedi Master stopped him._

"_But Master Yoda," Anakin started, "We cannot just let her leave! She is our friend," His voice was desperate, but in no way could compete with the panic in Obi-Wan's eyes. Master Yoda only stayed his hand. _

"_Let her leave, we must. Her decision, this is," came the calm reply. At his Anakin fumed, his youthful passion and temper taking hold of him. A rebuttal came fast to Anakin's tongue, and as he knew was his place, Obi-Wan stopped his young apprentice._

"_Master Yoda is right, Anakin," His voice came strained, weak from lack of conviction, "We must respect her choice to leave, no matter how much it grieves us to see her go." And in shame, he swallowed his lie. _

**Don't lose your nerve. Breathe...keep breathing**

As he sat on the docking bay, watching the night life of the city pass him by, Obi-Wan Kenobi remembered a time when he had promised himself that he wouldn't let his feelings for Asis cloud his judgment. He had sworn that he would never let himself fail the Jedi because of the way he felt for this woman. And yet in truth, he had already failed them; he loved her, acted upon it, and made no promise not to do it again...he made no promise to stop loving her. So as he boarded a transport that was passing by, he set out to find Asis, and to fulfill his promise of always loving her.

**I can't do this alone**

**Reviews welcome... 8) --look, smiley face! **


	3. Try

**I do greatly apologize for the wait. I know I've been away for a long time...And then, this chapter isn't very long either. Nevertheless, here it is. And to those of you who reviewed, thank you so much! You guys are awesome**

**Song: "Fix You" by Coldplay **

**High up above or down below**

Asis wasn't sure what she was drinking, but given that she was almost certain it was alcohol, she'd keep drinking it till the bartender stopped serving it. Tucked away in a corner of the obscure little diner, she sat quietly as tears rolled slowly down her cheeks.

**When you're too in love to let it go**

"_Ah…Greetings, Jedi Silvermoon," said the small, stocky human, giving a low bow as Asis entered his establishment. He made no effort to hide his peaking curiosity at her strange garb, and when she placed a several credits upon his desk, requesting a room to stay in, he could no longer hold his tongue. "I must admit I am surprised to see you. Usually I am notified ahead of time when a Jedi is in need of a room, Jedi Silvermoon."_

"_Lady Silvermoon," she corrected him, her voice soft and strained, "I am no longer with the Jedi." _

**If you never try you'll never know**

The overwhelming truth of what she'd just done was still washing over her, and she could have sworn that her heart was lodged in her throat. She had left him without a word; just a thought that she wasn't even sure had reached him. And the look on his face would surely haunt her for the rest of her life.

**Just what you're worth**

_Once the door to her room was shut and promptly locked, Asis wasted no time in releasing her bag and letting it fall to the floor with a soft thud. She in turn moved to the bed and collapsed upon it, burying her face into the crisp white pillow and noting, with a hint of anguish, that it did not smell of Obi-Wan. Rather, it smelt sterile and uninviting. Sighing, she turned onto her back to stare at the ceiling, which was bare and held no warmth of memories. And suddenly, visions of her old room began to infiltrate her mind, and she could not deny the frown that pulled down the corners of her mouth. Her walls had held the secrets of her life, and her ceiling had kept the memories that she was trying to forget._

"_I must leave this place," she whispered to herself, fighting back the oncoming tears. _

**Lights will guide you and ignite you bones**

"Another?" The robotic waiter interrupted her thoughts as it rolled over to her seat, another glass of the sapphire liquid teetering dangerously on a serving tray. Barely glancing at the droid, Asis gave a sedated nod and slid the appropriate credits across the table. At this, the droid placed the filled glass before the young woman, snatched up the credits and empty glass, and wheeled off, back towards the main bar. Muttering a "thank you" to the bartender that had already left, she picked up the drink. She allowed it to hover before her lips for a moment, before slowly sipping it. Grimacing at the potent taste, she returned the glass to the table. Sighing, Asis allowed her eyes to drift towards the window of the diner, taking in the sight that was the lower Coruscant. With a bitter laugh, she noted that it was raining.

"How fitting," she muttered, bringing the drink to her mouth once more. And then her eyes fell upon a lone man, standing outside the diner, peering through the window, and soaked to the bone. Asis didn't think her heart could break any more that it already had, but she was certain she felt another jolt of pain tear through her chest at the sight of him. "Obi-Wan."

**And I will try to fix you**

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** as always, reviews are welcome.  
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